21 September 2018

10 Weeks


I'll admit, I've always found the first stage of life a bit intimidating. It's not just because of the lack of sleep or fear of being able to keep the little nugget alive; it's because, at the beginning, a baby is basically just a pooing/barfing ball of blubber. How do you engage with something like that? I do you maintain the will to KEEP engaging when you aren't getting anything back?

Truthfully,  the first couple of weeks were a bit like that (although the snuggles then are fantastic), but I've been amazed how quickly Ezra has become a little person that interacts and moves around and has a personality. At 10 weeks he already recognises us, has his own tastes and preferences, patterns of behavior, and ways of communicating. In social science circles, they call that a temperament, in religion they call it a soul, but however you look at it, it comes from inside the baby.

I used to think babies were like a lump of clay, and that we, as parents, could build up into something amazing. However, the older I get the more I realise how wrong that is. My mother-in-law says that children come with their bags packed, and we get to watch them unpack them. I'm excited to learn what Ezra brought down with him from heaven-- what interests and predispositions he is going to carry with him through life.


What a chummy little chap! I think this pic is most interesting when you compare it with the first one in this post. Jon took this one, I took the one at the top. Jon's image is dynamic and unguardedly friendly. Mine is quieter, dreamier, and more reserved. It's funny that photos can tell you more about the people that took them than the subject itself.


I know I've said it before, but Jon is a great dad. Every weekend, he hops into out tiny tub for a bath party with Ezra. Baby E loves it. Afterwards he is always so zen (which stands in sharp contrast to  when I try to bathe him). He emerges always smelling so delicious because of the shampoo we use-- it was one of my few splurges on baby was to buy a whole case of Burt's Bees Baby Shampoo. Nothing is lovelier than a clean, warm, yummy-smelling baby all wrapped up in a snuggly towel.


Because we are doing a lot more tummy times these days, we've had to get creative. All I can say is THANK GOODNESS FOR YOUTUBE. Seriously, you can learn anything on there. Two channels that I have found really helpful are Pathways, which has videos that show you where your baby should be developmentally at various ages, and BabyPillars, particularly this excellent video on tummy time. 

The little man and I have sort of found our rhythm now, which feels great. It has been amazing to watch him change right before my eyes. I also know a few minutes to check my email (or do something else) are right around the corner when he is napping, which makes it easier to give him undivided attention when he is alert and curious. I do sort of wonder how that changes when you have a second child. Suddenly your time is split another way-- how do you manage to give your baby the attention he/she deserves while catering to your older child? How do you not get burned out because you have no alone time? 

It is a mystery I hope I'll figure out one day, but maybe one that won't happen as quickly as I'd anticipated (not that I am at all ready to be pregnant again just yet). Yesterday I talked to our fertility clinic and found out each frozen embryo transfer will cost about £5,000 (including all the meds and tests). Blargh! And it might not even work, which could mean yet another £5,000. Conceiving babies is supposed to be the fun and free part! However, it does make me appreciate having Ezra all the more. We are so lucky to have had our little miracle baby. Fingers crossed there is another baby or two out there for us, but if not, I feel so blessed to have him in our lives in the first place.

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