7 Must-Know Questions About Traveling to London

I get a lot of questions from people wanting to travel to London. I realised I am repeating myself quite a bit so it is about time I posted the answers:

Question 1: Where should I stay in London?

This is a really tough question as London is a big city. I dug in deep and did an in-depth article about it which you can read here. I don't have specific hotels to recommend, but I am a big fan of Airbnb, especially for families. If you use this link you'll get £30 free (and so will I!).

Question 2: I have 2-3 days in London, what should I see?

I definitely recommend seeing the main sites-- Big Ben, London Eye, etc. If you want to see churches, I highly recommend going to an Evensong service (basically just a choral church service with a sermon). St. Paul's and Westminster Abbey would be my two top choices. 

A nice walking tour would be to start at St. Paul's Cathedral, cross the Millennium Bridge and walk along to the river until you come to Tower bridge. You'll see lots of fun things along the way (including the Tate Modern museum, the Globe Theatre, and the HMS Belfast).

There are TONS of great museums, almost all of which are free. If you have only a couple of days, I'd recommend the following: the National Gallery (full of paintings), British Museum (full of ancient artifacts including the Elgin marbles and mummies), and the trio in South Kensington (Victoria & Albert, Natural History, Science-- all also by the church visitors center). I'd probably rank them in that order, though I think the British Museum may appeal more to most people. 

If you want a bit of an off-the-beaten-path experience, I'd recommend Camden Market. It is like Portbello Road (from Bedknobs and Broomsticks) meets Diagon Alley (from Harry Potter) mixed in with punk and hippies. Definitely will be more interesting for a teenage/young adult tourists. 

Question 3: What should I avoid?

My answers to this are a bit controversial, but I personally would never spend money on Madame Tussauds Wax museum, which is a big tourist attraction. I also would probably not spend money on the London Eye ride (it is pricey and very slow, though you would get a new vantage to the city). 

As I mentioned before I wouldn't pay to get inside a church. Unfortunately, when you go to a service, you can't really explore the church, but you have a solid hour or two to look around from where you are seated (and its free).

Question 4: What do I do for Transport?

This really depends on how much you want to spend. I always take the Heathrow Connect (not the Heathrow Express, which is faster but also more expensive) to Paddington Station after getting off the plane. From there you can get pretty much anywhere around the city via the tube.

If you want the tube to be your main transport (beware those of you that are claustrophobic), you'll need to buy a pass, which you can get at any of the machines inside the tube station. If you are only going to be in London a couple of days and you want to travel around a bit, I'd recommend a day pass. If you are going to be there for a week or so and are unsure how much you'll be traveling, I'd buy an oyster card (which you buy at the machines as well) and put money on it (also done at the machines).

You will need an oyster card/day pass to ride on the buses as well-- you can not get on the buses with cash. Many people think the double deckers are just tourist buses, but they are not. There are a few specific ones for tours, but the vast majority are just normal city buses. I probably wouldn't waste money on the tour, I'd just hop on a route that passes most of the good stuff (like route 11) and enjoy the view for less than £2.

Of course, if you can afford it, you can always take a taxi. Almost every cab takes Visa and American Express. Uber is also alive and well in the London.

Question 5: What foods do I have to try?

You should definitely try fish and chips. It always surprises tourists that it is very bland. It is meant to be eaten with salt and vinegar, not plain, so don't make that mistake. I always eat mine with ketchup.

I also highly recommend bangers and mash (sausages and mashed potatoes) or a meat pie (which are usually like a chicken pot pie with other meat-- rarely veg, but sometimes like a shepherd's pie, with a meat layer on the bottom and mashed potatoes on top).

Question 6: How is the weather?

British people like to complain about the weather a lot. Honestly, I don't think it is really much to worry yourself about. I'd definitely pack an umbrella, but I wouldn't worry about making room for wellies if you don't already have space. It usually doesn't rain for long when it does rain. But, unless you are coming in the summer time, you'll want to wear layers and bundle up well.

Question 7: What should I do about currency?

This depends. Almost everywhere takes card, so check with your bank to see if there are foreign transaction fees if you use it abroad (and also let them know you will be using it in the UK so they don't freeze your account while you are traveling).

You can exchange cash once you get in the country, but you'll probably get a better exchange rate if you do it before you leave.

--

Anyway, if you have any other questions you'd like me to answer in the future, let me know!
Have a wonder trip to London!

Dream Yoga and Mormonism

Today I wanted to talk about some thoughts I've been having lately that are, admittedly, not fully developed. I'm hoping that by putting them out there, your collective thoughts will bring out some resolution. Note: this post will probably be most interesting for someone with a Mormon background that has an interest in dreams and philosophy. 

OK, so let's jump back to the beginning. I've been doing some research for the dissertation I'm hoping to write later this year and stumbled upon some art by the 12th century catholic nun, Hildegard von Bingen. She is pretty well known for her music (she's a staple of basically every humanities class out there), but not many people realise she had massive visions, and commissioned several books of art to illustrate her spiritual accounts.

While we don't know the actual artist that she commissioned, and how their experiences factored into the final product, I think it is safe to assume that Hildegard worked very closely with him/her to get to artistic renderings as close to her visions as possible. The crazy thing about some of these artworks is that they very closely resemble art created by Tibetan monks. Here's are two quick examples (in both cases, Hildegard's are on the left, the Tibetan monk's "Thangkas" are on the right):

Aren't they amazingly similar? Back in the 1100s Germany, there would have been no way for Hildegard to have had contact with her counterparts in Tibet. Yet remarkably, both of these bodies of artwork derive from the creator having had spiritual visions. The Tibet monks often create Thangkas (such as the one seen above) after practicing something called Dream Yoga (also called Milam).

Dream Yoga is practiced in 5 stages (I've made up my own stage names as it helps me remember):

1. The Cave Stage: Dreamer must become lucid (i.e. realise they are in a dream and not awake)
2. The Superman Stage: Dreamer must realise that everything in the dream is a construct, and that nothing can hurt him/her.
3. The Matrix Stage: Dreamer should contemplate the fact that things in waking life are similar to the dream world as both are in a state of constant change and are thus illusory and are not real. This stage is hinged on the Buddhist belief that all things in the waking and dream world are empty and have no substantive value. 
4. The Inception Stage: Dreamer should realise they have total control in their dream state and can do whatever they want-- flying, making objects bigger or smaller, going anywhere, doing anything.
5. The Vision Stage: Dreamer should then summon images of dieties (for Buddhists this would be Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, or Dakinis... for Mormons- God, Angels perhaps loved ones that had passed?) In contemplating these individuals, one can have revelatory experiences and realizations. 

As is probably clear, I don't think that this process is incompatible with Mormonism. Christianity as a whole has a pretty rich tradition of spiritual experiences in dreams (Daniel, Joseph of Egypt, Lehi, Nephi [sort of, his seem to come in from a waking state] to name a few). I have a whole stack of spiritual dreams I've collected from journals and accounts of my ancestors as well. Dreams are a big deal to Mormons, so we definitely allow for it to be a place where spiritual communion can occur, specifically of a personalised nature. It seems natural to me that if we could begin to control the third of our lives we spend sleeping, and use it for personal discovery and spiritual enlightenment, God would give us a big thumbs up.

That being said, I am a little concerned about Stage #3 (The Matrix Stage). MOST of our theological construct, I think, allows for our waking life to be a less sinister, Matrix-type world. After all we believe we had existed previously with God and somehow our consciousness occupies bodies on earth when we are born. This consciousness, or spirit, then returns to be with God afterwards. Perhaps this Earthly experience is simply a computer game-like reality. Perhaps God's creation of the world could have literally been achieved in 7 days if Earth was created the way we create worlds in our dreams. I think most of our belief system could allow for that.

However, IF we are occupying a constructed reality, I see one major theological problem. Namely, why is receiving a body so important to our salvation (D&C 138:16-17)? Why do ordinances need to be performed in THIS life, with a physical body (1 Cor 15:29, D&C 124:29-36)? And how could our physical bodies possibly be reunited with our spirit (Alma 11:45) in order to attain exaltation with God?

Now, maybe the Buddhists just got this part wrong. It's possible. But, but in my own experience with dream yoga (since I began trying a month ago, I've had three lucid dreams), I'm beginning to realise it's merit. My first lucid dream was a bit of a mess because, before going lucid, I had been having a dream where I caught Jon (my husband) in a massive lie. Everything that happened in my lucid dream, DESPITE the fact that I thought I was in control because I knew I was dreaming, was still in reaction to the notion that Jon had been lying to me. Freeing yourself from reality keeps you from getting caught up and would allow you to focus more clearly, particularly on spiritual things.

Still, I haven't quite resolved this point theologically and it has been gnawing at the back of my mind for the last month. Mormons very much believe in the reality, and importance, of a material world. Buddhism does not. I watched this TED talk the other day, and I feel like, maybe the answer is somewhere in here.

While Dr. Hoffman seems to be suggesting more of a Buddhist perspective, I think that he makes it clear that the physical world is hugely important, hence the evolutionary need for our simplified interface. I think his ideas may be the beginning of the resolution, but I still need to contemplate it further.

Anyway, I am really interested in what you, my lovely reader, thinks. I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you see a conflict of between dream yoga and Mormon theology, and what you think about Donald Hoffman's talk. I'd also love to hear about your own experiences with lucid dreaming and spiritual experiences you may have had. All thoughts are welcome, even if you disagree, so please let me know what you think in the comments below!

Acupuncture

So, let's talk about acupuncture. (And as a warning, this may be a TMI post for those of you squeamish about pregnancy and lady parts)

For the past year or so, I feel like at least half the people I have talked to about fertility have recommended looking into acupuncture. I did my research, and with some mixed opinions, I figured it was worth a shot. Why not?

In Brisbane, there is a specialist fertility and pregnancy acupuncture clinic. The lady that runs it has a Masters degree in women's reproductive health, and works as a midwife, which all sounded pretty fab to me. 

I have to admit, I was skeptical... I have had basically no experience with Chinese medicine so I didn't know what to expect. However, my acupuncturist, Jess, put me right at ease. They start you out by doing a full health questionnaire and then a sit down to discuss everything. 

Without being told, she arrived at the same conclusion I had about the cause of my fertility issues, albeit from an entirely different direction. Given the medical testing Jon and I had previously done, most common issues have been ruled out, but the fact we both have landed on an implantation issue seemed promising. From her mind, this stemmed from a blood flow issue. Luckily for me, that's one of the things acupuncture treats best. 

I set up weekly appointments with her and have now gone for almost two months. In this time here is what I learned:

1) It took me 3 treatments to really feel a difference, but when I did WOW! I felt like a whole new human walking out the third time. 

2) It is amazing how well the acupuncture points correspond to my symptoms. It happens EVERY week. Here's an example:

Acupuncturist: So, tell me about your week...

Me: It's been fine, although I haven't been sleeping well. I keep having these really vivid, emotionally charged dreams that keep me up all night. 

Acupuncturist: Ah... that comes from poor blood flow to the heart. 

Then during treatment, when she puts the needles in, she gets to my wrist points which I yelp at, because that week they are extremely sensitive. My acupuncturist explains that these are the heart points. Naturally I check online to see if this is true, and she's right! Every week these points correspond to my experience. I'm continually baffled by how accurate it is, and keep running online to check and intentionally not telling her my symptoms to test her to see if my body corresponds. It does every time.

3) I've spent a lot of time trying to describe how I feel after these treatments. Granted, I think the feeling has intensified as I've continued weekly appointments (I don't know that I felt like this on my first or second visit so much), but I really think acupuncture is a spiritual experience. 

It's not spiritual the way that scripture study or praying is. Those are a sort of intellectual communion which I think belong in a different category. To me, acupuncture makes me feels like my body and spirit are just really connected... I've felt this a little bit before with yoga, but not anywhere near this intensity. Maybe that will sound cheesy to some of my readers, but that is the best way I can think to describe it. It is really lovely. 

Jon has been really supportive, especially given that the appointments are not exactly cheap. I know this sort of homeopathic treatment is not really his first go to, but I'm glad he's all for me trying it out. He's always notices a real difference between the day before I get acupuncture and the day after. He's even considered going in himself to give it a go.

In addition to the acupuncture, I've also started drinking more water and taking maca root, as suggested by two really lovely people who emailed me with the same infertility "cure". It is suppose to help regulate your hormones and stress levels, and has no known side effects, so we'll have to see how it goes. 

Also, a side note, I've struggled with really uncomfortable pain behind my navel for the past couple of years. I've talked to doctors about it, but the fertility stuff always overshadows our discussions. Surprisingly, the acupuncture treatment has almost entirely eliminated the pain (perhaps also with the help of more fluids and the maca). Still a little ways to go, but the improvement has been massive.

Anyway, I'd definitely recommend it to any of you other mommas-to-be out there or to anyone else really. I don't know if it will help me get a baby, but it has changed my period substantially (which historically, while the timing is regular, is a stop-and-go experience with massive blood clots and monumental pain). Now, the clots are almost completely gone and blood flow is fluid and regular. All in all, totally worth the money.

If you have any questions about acupuncture treatments, or my experience in general, I'm happy to answer your queries! I may now know the answer, but I can give it my best go :)

When Does the Soul Enter the Body?

A couple of years ago, when we lived in New York, I had to fill in for the 8-year-old's primary class at the last minute. We played the usual scripture hangman for about 15 minutes, until we'd hit that proverbial wall of boredom. Sensing the need for movement, I took the kids to the gymnasium for a game of follow-the-leader. Every time we switched leaders, the new "it" person got to ask me any (church related) question they wanted.

The kids were pumped (and so was I), they were only eight after all... how intense could the questions be?

Answer: VERY.

Among questions about whether God had a wife, what happens after we die, and why we do we have to get baptised anyway, there was one question that really caught me off guard. She asked, "So, when does a baby's spirit go into the mommy's tummy?"

I was pretty shocked. Particularly because I realised that, although I THOUGHT I had an answer, I had no way of backing it up.

This question has stuck with me for several years now and has become especially poignant in light of our struggle with fertility.

MORMON THEOLOGY

My perspective on this comes from a predominantly Mormon theology, and really rests upon the idea that before we were born, we still existed as intelligences, or spirits [1]. Although mainstream Christianity rejects the idea of a pre-mortal existence (mostly because in the very early Christian church, the concept was thought to be both too pagan and too Jewish [2]), the Bible is plump with references to our antemortal life. [3]

Still, even with the knowledge that our spirits existed BEFORE we came to earth. When exactly that happened is a highly debated issue. There are mainly three schools of thought on this issue:

1) The spirit enters the body at conception.

2) The spirit enters the body at birth.

3) The womb is a transitional space where the spiritual presence is known as "a quickening."

I've done a lot of pondering and praying and I actually think it may be a combination of #2 and #3.

WHAT THE APOSTLES AND PROPHETS HAVE TO SAY

The apostles and prophets do not necessarily all agree on this. Some are for option #1, some for #2 and some for #3. However, the majority seem to support the following:

- President Brigham Young said he believed that “when the mother feels life come to her infant it is the spirit entering the body.” [4]

- From “The Origin of Man” message issued by the First Presidency in 1909: “The body of man enters upon its career as a tiny germ embryo, which becomes an infant, quickened at a certain stage by the spirit whose tabernacle it is, and the child, after being born, develops into a man.” [5]

- In 1975 James E. Faust stated, “Some say, as did the Supreme Court of the United States, that it is only theory that human life begins at conception. This is contrary to insurmountable medical evidence…Because she feels it, every mother knows there is sacred life in the body of her unborn babe. There is also life in the spirit, and some time before birth the body and spirit are united. When they do come together, we have a human soul.” [6]

Now, as I mentioned, not all prophets and apostles agree on this.

BUT WHAT DO THE SCRIPTURES SAY?

The most well known example of a fetus discussed in the scriptures is when the virgin Mary meets her kinswoman Elisabeth. When they meet, Elisabeth exclaims that she feels John leap for joy and is filled with the Holy Ghost, a testament of Jesus. [7]

This would seem to support #1 and #3. Both John and Jesus are present and somewhat conscious in their mother's wombs BEFORE they are born.

Interestingly though, if we look to the Book of Mormon, Jesus (whose spirit was definitely present inside Mary early-ish in her pregnancy), suddenly appears to Nephi the day before He is born. If His spirit was locked into His body from conception, that would not be possible. Therefore, it seems more likely that womb is a transitional space, where the spirit is not necessarily permanent until birth. Perhaps it takes nine months for the spirit to get used to existence within a body. [8]

SYMBOLICALLY THIS MAKES SENSE

It helps us understand the sacred nature of the calling of motherhood and the significance of the female body, as it is one of the only places that the veil is most thin on the earth.

Also, if we look at the way Christ describes baptism as being "born again" [9] we learn that our first birth, should in someway, be in similitude of that ordinance. In utero, a baby is held in ambiotic fluid. This water is the transitional space from one world to the next. In baptism it is the same-- as we are fully submersed in the water we are in a transitional space from our early life to our new life, in God.

MISCARRIAGES AND STILLBORN BABIES

With all this said, I believe that miscarried babies will get another chance-- their soul will have the opportunity to try again and be born in a new body. This is supported by the Church's stance to NOT seal miscarried or stillborn babies to their parents. [10] If the child is born alive, these ordinances can be performed.

ABORTION

I think the next natural place to carry this is to abortion. If a baby is going to have the opportunity to be born in a different body anyway, why is abortion bad? Isn't it actually more merciful to have that baby born into a family that can take care of it?

My simplest answer is an emphatic NO. Abortion may not technically be murder, but it is the next closest thing. [11] You are ripping the opportunity of a body away from a spirit (which is needed for it's eternal progression). In a more trivialized way, it would be like getting a full-ride tuition scholarship, having it in your bank account, and then you parents removing it and spending it simply because you going to school would be an inconvenience. It is not ok. 

Spencer Kimball taught: “Abortion must be considered one of the most revolting and sinful practices in this day…” [12]

Still, this perspective is the only way I can account for the churches position that abortion is acceptable in the case of rape, incest or where the mother's life is put in danger. Still, the church asks for prayerful consideration before any abortions are performed.

CONCLUSION

This is a subject I am still developing my understanding on and would love to hear your thoughts. When do you think spiritual life begins?

NOTES:

[1] A great article on the topic from the New Era.

[2] The decision was made in 553 AD at the Second Council of Constantinople that the doctrine pre-existence was heretical. This was mainly due to writings by several early church fathers (notably Origen) that believed classic Greek philosophy of Plato and Euclid were not inconsistent with Christianity. For those in charge, Greek philosophy = paganism, regardless of the doctrine's merit or scriptural validity.

[3] There are many scriptures within the Mormon canon that describe the pre-existence. However, my favourites from the Old and New Testament are:

Jeremiah 1:5

Job 1:6, 2:1, 38:4-7

Proverbs 8: 22-31

Ephesians 1:3-4

Titus 1:2

Eccl 12:7

[4] (Journal of Discourses,17:143.)

[5] (James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1970, 4:205.)

[6]  (Ensign 5:27-29, May 1975)

[7] Luke 1: 39-45

[8] 3 Nephi 1:12-14

[9] John 3:3

[10] Quoting from "I Have a Question" September 1987:

"Elder Joseph Fielding Smith, quoting President Brigham Young, wrote that “‘[Stillborn children] are all right,’ … and nothing in the way of sealings or ordinances need be done for them.” (Bruce R. McConkie, comp., Doctrines of Salvation, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1955, 2:281.)

The question of whether stillborn children will be resurrected and belong to their parents in the hereafter is really the crux of the matter. This question is, as yet, impossible to answer with certainty. Elder Joseph Fielding Smith wrote that “there is no information given by revelation in regard to the status of stillborn children. However, I will express my personal opinion that we should have hope that these little ones will receive a resurrection and then belong to us.” (Doctrines of Salvation, 2:280.) He said nothing about miscarried children."

[11] In the Stake Presidents and Bishops Handbook 1 (2010), it says on page 57 that “abortion is not defined as murder.”

[12] (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p.189)

Special thanks to the Herveys, Palmers, Scotts, Youngs, and Zimmermans for allowing me to be apart of archiving your beautiful families.

8 Ways to Battle Expat Homesickness

Every now and then I get an email from a prospective expat that is peppered with all the questions I was asking before we moved to London. But one of the questions I've always been surprised by is, " How do you deal with homesickness?"


I'm embarrassed to say that I've been pretty dismissive of these questions in the past. Before the last year, the only time I can remember feeling homesick (as an adult) was in the first two hours at university. Thinking it was social anxiety rearing it's ugly head again, I swallowed it by grounding myself in something that made me feel safe. I've travelled the world and never once felt it again.

That is until about eight months ago, when I was hit with some serious yearning for home.

MY STORY

About the time we bought my ticket for Matt's wedding, I started to feel really homesick. It was the kind of I-can't-get-out-of-bed-because-I-wanna-be-home kind of longing. We went to the wedding, then came back with Jon's family's entire collection of home movies. I basically bathed in nostalgia all day every day for six months while I digitised everything and worked on our film festival. Finally, we went back to the states for both our Young and Bingham family reunions, and by the time we got back to London I had learned some very valuable lessons on how to deal.

So to answer all of your earnest questions, here are the 8 ways I've learned to battle homesickness as an expat:

ANCHOR YOURSELF + FIND FAMILIARITY

First, it it important to realise where homesickness is coming from. Most of the time, it is because we want to feel safe and happy, and not alone and afraid. Newness, especially for expats, is scary... it usually means the places and people we love are far away.

Perhaps your trigger is the nervousness of your new job, or a really painful cultural flub. When you feel that panicky, longing feeling of just wanting to be home,  stop and ask yourself what you are really looking for.  Do you just want to feel safe? Do you just want to feel loved?  Do you want the ease of familiar things? Get to the root of your feelings.

Once you've identified the cause, look for a way to anchor yourself. Maybe that means snuggling up in bed with popcorn and movie, maybe that means writing in your journal in a special spot, or maybe that means making a friend that can calm you down and make you feel safe. Find your triggers, then anchor yourself.

STAY IN TOUCH WITH FAMILY + FRIENDS

I think the biggest reason I've avoided homesickness (prior to this last year) was because I talk to my family ALL. THE. TIME. I seriously talk to my mom every other day.

But it doesn't just have to be with Skype or Whatsapp, you can actually call (for free) though your phone as well! Staying in touch with the people you love is one of the most important ways to feel close to them. Technology in our age is such a blessing-- don't waste it!

DON'T BE ALONE + FIND COMMUNITY

In a very practical sense, being Mormon has lots of advantages. Wherever you go in the world, there is a built-in community of people that share similar beliefs and that will be there to help you and integrate you.

So, if you are religious, check out your local church. If not, find like-minded people through a meet-up group, work, or school.

If you are moving to a new country alone, I highly recommend getting roommates. They not only help bring rent costs down, but also can give advice and a mate to run around with.

EMBRACE CULTURE

Get out and try new things! When we moved to in Queens, I was not a fan. In fact, NYC just seemed like this dirty, crime-filled city that I had the misfortune of being stuck in. However, when I started organising photoshoots, and get out and look for photogenic spaces and people... it suddenly opened my eyes to the beauty and glory that was New York City. I fell in love with it.

In most expat situations, you probably won't be in your current country/city forever.  Make use of your exciting time abroad and see, taste, touch and smell as much as your brain can handle.  The more you learn about a place and people, the more you usually love it.

FIND YOURSELF A GOLDEN THREAD

A friend of mind once described a herself as having golden thread tied between herself and heaven when she prayed. I've always thought that was the most beautiful visual metaphor for for prayer and meditation, which I have found it very helpful in my own life.

Even if you aren't particularly religious, what do have to lose, really? At the very least, hearing yourself discuss your needs and desires out loud could give you a new perspective.

MAKE NEW TRADITIONS

I have noticed that homesickness comes around quite a bit more around the holidays. Whether that is Christmas or Thanksgiving or Independence day, Jon and I usually have our wistful wouldn't-it-be-great-to-be-home-right-now conversations when we remember traditions that we loved as kids.

Fortunately, we have a planet full of traditions! No matter where you are in the world, there are new customs and practices to be discovered. You'll learn new ones to add to your own repertoire, and get a better understanding of the country you find yourself in.

GRATITUDE

When all else fails, express gratitude. For me, this comes in the form of a journal, for Jon this is usually expressing it to someone or saying it out loud. Being conscious of the good around you can be so beneficial to feeling happiness and safety in your new space.  Dwell on the positive, not the negative. 

VISIT HOME

There are times when you just got to see your mama. With my spout of homesickness earlier this summer, I know it was cured by simply spending time with my family. While I think this should be a last resort, it is definitely one that deserves a mention, because sometimes it is the only thing that will do the trick.

What do you do to combat homesickness? Let me know in the comments below!

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What One British 5-Year-Old Taught Me About the Syrian Refugees

The other night I was stunned into complete, dumbfounded silence.

It was Saturday evening and I was watching Tilly, one of my former students. While she was brushing her teeth, I swiped my phone on to check my messages. A photo of several Syrian refugees popped up from an article I had been reading earlier that day.

"Who are they?" she asked, toothpaste suds spraying every which way.

"They're refugees... Do you know what a refugee is?"

She shook her head.

"Hmmm... Well, they are people that have to leave their homes because it's not safe. They usually have to go some place far away."

"Why aren't they safe at home?" she asked.

Fair question. But as I considered how to respond, I realised I was at a cross-roads. What would her parents think of my introducing the ideas of ISIS, war, death and displacement into their sweet, five-year old's head? I decided to approach it the way I had always wished adults would have answer my questions-- with gentle honesty.

Using the most child appropriate version I could think of on the spot, I explained that there were some people in a place near Egypt (she loves Egypt), called Syria. The people were fighting all the time. It has become such a dangerous place that all the mummies and daddies have had to take their children and run away, without any toys or clothes or anything. They pile into tiny boats and have to cross the sea to get to Europe, where it is safer. But, there are usually too many people in boats. When big waves come it can be quite scary.

"Do some people drown? she asked, eyes widening at the prospect.

"Sometimes yes. It's very sad."

"But if they get across the water then they are safe from the baddies?"

"Yes, but the problem is that they don't have a home or food anymore.... so, even if they get across they are still in trouble."

"Why doesn't everyone help them?" Good question.

"Well, there are so many refugees coming, people that already live in Europe are worried. Where will all these people live? How can we pay to take care of all of them?  It's a big problem"

Tilly looked down at her teddy bear. It's her most prized possession and never more than 10 ft from her when she's home.

"I think I need to give those refugee children my nallebjörn." Nallebjörn is Swedish for teddy bear.

Knowing how much she loves that thing made my heart wince a little bit. Would I be willing to give my camera or my computer away to a group of refugees? The answer is most decidedly no.

I told Tilly that it was very kind of her to offer, but I thought her teddy bear should probably stay with her.

For the rest of toothbrushing time she mentally inventoried her clothes, toys, books and even the kitchen cupboards for things she could send to the children.

Finally she hopped into bed and we sat down to read some much happier, lighter bedtime stories. After answering another flurry of refugee-related questions, I turned the lights out and sat next to her while she fell asleep.

She was still for several minutes. At last, I thought she'd dozed off.

Then suddenly she turned over and said, "I feel really bad for all those people in Syria, but I think I feel most bad for the ones that are hurting people."

Surprised, and thinking I'd misheard her, I responded with a neutral, "Why is that?"

"Well, I think the ones that hurt people don't really understand that what they are doing is wrong, and that makes me really sad for them."

Good grief.

Despite a half dozen humanitarian-centric trips, and over a quarter century of weekly Sunday school lessons, the idea of feeling pity for the inflictors of this whole great travesty had never even entered my mind.

Yet here was a little blond angle, who-- in the space of a half hour-- had offered her dearest treasure and her whole heart to not just the victims, but the "baddies" as well.

Now I'm well aware of the complexity of this issue. I know it isn't as easy as just giving love when we have a mounting geo-political confrontation on our hands. But, in thinking about Syria, let's not forget that we are all a part of humanity.

Imagine if we could avoid the "otherness" of hate, but instead look toward those that we dislike (or fear) with compassion and understanding. Surely if we could all do a little more of that, there would be less war, more love, and a great deal more security. Let's all give it a go, shall we?

⎈

If you are interested in making a donation to the Syrian refugee relief efforts, I've done a great deal of research into this and would recommend donating to the following:

LDS PHILANTHROPIES

This is my favourite humanitarian charity because:
1) 100% of the money goes to humanitarian causes
2) Workers oversee the full distribution of goods (ie their are people on the ground watching the moms receiving the diapers in hand) and
3) Charity work closely with local, established non-profits and NGOs to know what is most needed (as oppose to just dropping off a bunch of stuff Westerners THINK refugees might need).

SAVE THE CHILDREN

This is one of the most highly regarded charities and I think it is a great option for someone that really wants to make sure they money goes directly to the children (especially if they'd prefer to not donate to an ecclesiastically based charity like the no mentioned above). I like them because:
1) 85% goes directly to the children - This is very high for a non-volunteer organisation.
2) It is one of the UK's oldest NGOs
3) They are very transparent with where their money goes and how it is spent.

Clayton Christensen with Gousto

This is a post about good food and good people.Lately, I've been trying out this new service (a la a coupon I found in an Amazon order) called Gousto. It allows you to pick your meals out online; then, they package the ingredients up-- with recipes-- and post it to your door. It's a lazy girl's dream.

Above are the ingredients for one of the meals I ordered. I tried to follow the recipes as closely as possible, which is pretty big for me because I never follow food directions. While I was cooking, I realised several things:

1) The meat I usually buy is crap (even though I usually shop at Waitrose). This became clear by the glorious lack of that fat-protein emulsion (spume). Hmmmm... starting to get a little hooked.

2) My spice rack is in need of an update, because even if I had the inclination to try out some of these meals on my own, I probably wouldn't. They would require a lot of spices I've never even heard of.

3) Maybe my portion-sizes are a little (WAY) off. To my amazement, the portions for these meals were incredibly filling, despite looking very small on the ingredients end. Point to Gousto.

The verdict: Good value, but still a bit steep.

Luckily for any of my UK readers out there, Gousto has given me a special voucher code to share. You can get £20 off your first order (generally they only give you £15) by using this handy dandy voucher code: JESSI71345 

So, go get yourself some free food. You're welcome.

In other exciting news, Clayton and Christine Christensen came into town. Among academics, he's a pretty big deal. From his status as as Harvard professor to his best-selling books, he's got some serious clout. However, among Mormons, I'm pretty sure he's nearing demigod status. 

Of course, when I first met him, I was clueless to all this excitement. He was just the very kind grandpa of my future nieces and nephews. When I lived in Boston, I saw him pretty frequently-- we even had Thanksgiving dinner with him and Christine several times. Now, I feel like we're related (even though we aren't -- he's Jon's sister's papa-in-law). 

Still, having them come into town felt like family and we were awfully glad to see them. They had a fireside at the church discussing missionary work. There were so many insightful things discussed, but most particularly the uniqueness of the LDS church in encouraging tough questions, and how essential that framework is to our growth. 

Then, a few days later, we managed to snag tickets to see him speak on business innovation at PARLIAMENT!
 AH! 

We arrived an hour early because we were so paranoid about not getting in (as they had overbooked the event). Lucky us, we were so early that we got the best seats in the house! Look at us, front row center (with our friend Suzette) in one of the biggest rooms in the entire place. Whoo hoo!

There are some pretty serious people up in front, including John Hoffmire (Oxford Professor), Elder Herbertson, and David Rutley (an MP)

On our way home, I discovered that Jon no longer walks/rides the tube home in his dress shoes. Rather he changes into his running shoes, which I find pretty hilarious. Everyone else found it funny too-- at least 5 people commented on it on the way home. Luckily, Jon can rock a suit and sneakers with the best of 'em. 

What a rock star.

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Art, Mormons, and Whatever the Heck Comes After Post-Modernism

Dear fellow artists (particularly you churchy-types),

I write this letter for you as a devout Mormon. If you don't know what that is, think protestant Christian with more Broadway lights and glitter! (ps I'm COMPLETELY joking, for a real answer to what Mormons believe, check this out).

I've spent a lot of time over the last few years pondering over our voice in the art community and people, we are on the precipice of something truly amazing.

I believe we've walked out of the world's post-modern phase and entered something new-- something that we HAVE to take hold of. To explain what I'm talking about, I think we need a little art history lesson:

WHAT IS MODERNISM?

Though this overview is painfully simplistic, in essence, the Modernist movement did two things. First, when it began, people had begun to rejected traditional art, religion, architecture, and social expectations. They were looking for something zippy and new, something enlightened.

Squares with Concentric Circles, Wassily Kandinsky 1916

Composition with Red, Yellow and Blue, Piet Modrian 1942

Art became more abstract, both in form and intention. Visual artists began finally asking the question, what is "art" anyway? They explored their craft, not with the motive of being pedantic or creating a true-to-life rendering, but rather to hone in on the key things that made art, "art." These would be things like colour, line, shape, and composition.

Artists stripped their paintings of extraneous meaning and sought to make the purest art that they could. Sometimes that just meant throwing paint around and calling it a day... actually, during this movement, that's what it meant most days.

Convergence, Jackson Pollock 1952

WHAT IS POSTMODERNISM?

After awhile, the world became rather cynical (and sometimes kinda mean).

We had artists like Andy Warhol challenging, not only the idea of art as mere principles of design, but also society. He used his art as a harsh social critique. From his serialised depictions of Marilyn Monroe to his soup cans, Warhol was pointing out problems and quirks he saw around him. The often dark, cynical (and often witty) art from this time is a hallmark of the postmodern movement.

Marilyn Diptych, Andy Warhol 1962

Before long the idea of deconstructing truth seemed to be the only way to find it. We continue to see this postmodern aesthetic today with artists like Banksy and even TV programming like Saturday Night Live.

If post-modernism were a person I think it would be that really smart, sarcastic jerk that always sits at the back of the class-- the one that upends a class with their little nugget of insight. Adults hate him, kids love him, but in the end he's still kind of a tool.

Follow Your Dreams, Banksy 2010

WHERE ARE WE TODAY?

While lots of people have their own opinions, I believe we are in a movement of the personal narrative.

Most of us have grown up with the knowledge that we must to share our story to survive. It is required to get into University, for online social acceptance of peers, and for battling an increasing difficult job market.

My generation understands the importance of narrative, particularly PERSONAL narrative. Though this may seem narcissistic to the outside (and maybe it is), our brains have been tuned to sharing our story, for digging deep in our personal experience to find something meaningful to share. We love conquered tragedy, drama, and introspection... we are the age of the overshare.

SO WHAT?

So, what does that all mean for religious artists today? Well, the world is now accepting personal truth as REAL truth. As orthodox Christian, this sort of moral relativity is a mildly terrifying (seriously AH!), but I believe it is can be one of our greatest tools.

Consider Caitlyn Jenner, or Malala, or Edward Snowden. Whether you support their decisions or journey, society as a whole has embraced them-- it has accepted their truth. So, why not yours?

CALL FOR RELIGIOUS ART

Too many of us aren't putting our belief into our art. I include myself in this. It's weird because our faith belongs to us and is likely one of the things we hold most dear. For the most part it is at the core of everything we do and are. Yet somehow we get freaked out by religious art.

What I'm asking for, is not for illustrations that answer questions about our faith. What I'm propose is art that ASKS questions, that explores and penetrated the viewers soul. We need more deeply provocative art that fills the world with light.

There are some artists out there that are doing that right now and it's a beautiful thing. Here are some examples:

From the landmark Islamic Art Now show from earlier this year at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art.

God Is Alive, He Shall Not Die (blue), Nasser Al Salem

Recent winners of the LDS International Art Competition, shown at the Mormon Church History Museum in Salt Lake City.

Sanctification, Amy Finder

It Was Founded Upon a Rock, Cheng Chin-Tai

Still Life with St. Bartholomew Masterpiece, Donald Roberts Richmond 

Baptism of Jesus Christ, Connie J. Daisy

Installation art piece that is part of an exhibition at the Contemporary Jewish Museum.

Lamp of the Covenant, Dave Lane

Our moment is now.

While the art establishment at large has held on to a modernist disapproval of religion and postmodern scepticism, I think it is entering a new era. As people in a time that is enlivened by personal truth, get out there and share yours! Whether that is with writing, or painting, or photography, or film... whatever it is, put your belief into it. Let's share a little light with the world.  

How to Travel When You Have Social Anxiety ● by Jess

Dear World,

My name is Jessica and it's time to acknowledge something I like to pretend doesn't exist. It's a little thing called social anxiety, and it is something I've struggled with for a long time.

The Grade School Years

Though I'd always been quite shy, the first time I remember being conscious of my anxiety was when I was in second grade. My teacher had asked me to call the play dough help hotline to ask about baking instructions.

I just about had a full blown panic-attack.

Why? The prospect of engaging with the disembodied voice on that telephone terrified me. By the time I walked to the office I was in tears and my whole body was trembling. It was the beginning of a long and difficult road.

I got through primary school thanks to a best friend who helped anchor me, but when my family moved when I was 12, things changed. Middle school is crap anyway, but the first couple of years were brutal.

I was that mom-jeans-wearing kid that sat by herself on the bus listening to opera on her CD walkman. Alone was my stasis. My silence was interpreted as aloofness and I got the reputation of thinking I was better than everyone else... which is actually pretty ironic, because in truth, I was scared of all of them. 

How I Coped

Somewhere around my last year of high school, I figured out a way to deal with it; It was the only coping mechanism that worked. Whenever I got into a social situation I put on a character... I envisioned the most popular, flirty person I would imagine-- the kind of girl that guys wanted to date and other girls were jealous of-- and I pretended to be her.

Somehow, if anyone rejected me, it no longer felt personal. It felt manageable. Because the truth was they weren't rejecting ME they were rejecting the persona, and THAT I could deal with.

Funny thing was, no one ever did reject me. Slowly this exuberant persona merged itself with the real me and one day I realised I felt genuine being vivacious and friendly.

Continued Struggles

Thankfully, my anxiety has gotten better, but every now and then it still jumps up and startles me. For example, in February Jon gave me a Valentine's gift certificate, so I could buy myself perfume. It took me almost a full month to go out and buy a bottle. Why? Because the prospect of having to interact with the sales person glued me to my chair.

I know that what I'm describing defies logic. I knew, in my head, that the sales person wouldn't humiliate me or reject me or whatever other deep-rooted fear lurks inside my subconscious, but that is what makes anxiety disorders so poignant... it is very, very difficult to talk yourself out of a fear that transcends reason.

How then, does someone at this far end of the introverted spectrum do so much darn travelling? Because, let's get real, if you travel, you have to actually talk to people.  Along the way, I've learned a few tips that will hopefully help others who find themselves in my same situation.

5 Ways to Battle Social Anxiety while Travelling

• Anchor Yourself – Find something that never changes, some place you feel safe. Maybe that is curled up with your pillow and your laptop, maybe that is sipping a cup of hot chocolate while writing in your journal... figure out a safe place that you can take with you. 

• Trifecta of Silent Spaces – For the budget conscious introvert, the three best places to go in any country are Museums, Bookstores and Cemeteries. These three places will tell you so much about the culture and give you the space to reflect uninterrupted.

• Extroverted Travel Companion – As painful as it can be, having a social companion will push you to try and do new things you never thought you were able to. But make sure you communicate your needs to your partner. When I lived in Romania, my very social roommates were convinced I hated them because when I got home at night, I went into my safe space. Make sure they understand your needs. 

• Non-profits – As much as one should be wary of exploitative volunteer tourism, working or visiting non-profits is such a good way to get to really understand a city and the people in it. Non-profits are usually dying to get the word about their cause and, I've found, are happy to give you the royal tour. It's a great way to meet locals relatively anxiety free (all it really takes is an email). 

• Relax and Don't be Afraid to Seek Help – Lastly, try to relax. Not every person that comes up to you is about to initiate a Taken-type scenario. People are generally good and want to connect. Still, when anxiety gets to be too much, there is no shame in seeking therapy or medication, if need be. Anxiety shouldn't prevent you from seeing the world.

Anxiety + Wanderlust is not uncommon. Here are some other excellent posts by people who are struggling (and conquering!) their anxiety:

• MeganoTravels - Megan shares her coping strategies after being clinically diagnosed with anxiety. She has a really great list near the end of her article.
• Wanderful World - Lizzie write a really well-crafted piece about the physical affects of her travel anxiety and how therapy has helped. She also shares what she does to prepare for a journey.
• Never Ending Footsteps - A really compelling story by Lauren about her battle with anxiety and an eating disorder and how ultimately travel has helped her heal. 

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Where to Stand to Take the Best Travel Photos: Big Ben

I think we've all experienced FOMO (that horrible fear of missing out), but I've only recently experienced something a bit worse. It's a little something I like to call RYMO (Realising You Missed Out). This is sort of like FOMO, but you experience it after you get home and see other people's photos. You sift them and you find yourself sitting there thinking, "AH! How did I not get that shot? And where were they standing when they took it?"Maybe it's the photographer in me, but my fear of RYMO is so intense that I research our future travel destinations on Pinterest before heading off, with the express purpose of identifying the best places to stand while take photos. To prevent the rest of you from feeling RYMO after your travels to London, I'm starting a new series that will show you the best places and vantages to get your own iconic London photos. Each post will have a printable map at the end, which you'll be able to download and use for your adventuring. If you have particular success, your own favourite spot, OR a request for a specific London attraction, give us a shout. We love to see other people enjoying London as much as we do. I thought we'd start with an obvious choice: London's most iconic building, the Elizabeth Tower, which houses the Big Ben bell. I've chosen 3 locations that I think best capture the clocktower in all its British-y glory. Here is the map for all the locations (it is sized for US letter-sized paper, but can easily be printed on A4). You are welcome to share the download link on your own site, as long as you credit the source to Young Rubbish and hyperlink it back to this post. Photography in title image by Mark Nortcliffe Photography.

Don't forget we have a giveaway on right now! Be sure to check it out to win a one-of-a-kind original London artwork.